Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
