It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i came on her dog
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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