im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
