The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You're my little dorito
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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