Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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