I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
