Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize