I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
COCAINE IS GR8
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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