Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
