Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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