Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
