New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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