oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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