Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
