I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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