Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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