Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Let's get the cat blown out
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
