oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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