I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
