i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
