I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
