her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
