We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
