So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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