just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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