i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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