what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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