did you get engaged???
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
