just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
