I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
