Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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