Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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