I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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