sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
