On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize