I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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