On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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