I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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