I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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