Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
and you fell through a lawn chair
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
