Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
