they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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