I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
