Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
