I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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