So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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