I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
