Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shit smells like andre
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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