Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?