Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.