Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.