Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
