i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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