I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
