I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
