I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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