Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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