Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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