....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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