If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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