That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
