Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
