using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
