well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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